Kicesie's Peer Sex Ed

Most Recent Statement on Sexual Assault Legal Proceedings

Here is a statement I wrote to post on my video 'To My Terrorist', however it's too long. So I'm posting it here. Also, this allows for you to be updated as well on as many details as I am able to give (emotionally for one, and to protect myself from defamation lawsuit BS secondly) and how things have turned out thus far.

Please note that because I paraphrase some public record, his name is included. Do not incite violence, hurt him, or harass him in any way. By doing this you will actually hurt ME because I could be held responsible (which is the only reason I care).

Feel free to repost this statement as long as you do so in it's entirety to your blogs, etc.

Most recent public statement: 
When I made this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekr_msIte_o) I had not pressed charges. Less than two months after making this video, upon great thought and with the encouragement of a lawyer viewer of mine at the time, I made the choice to file a police report.
After taking my report, they set it up so I would call him and talk to him about the night he raped me and they (the police) would tape it. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I have the conversation on audio and might one day post on here on another site. Upon hanging up the detectives simply said, 'this guy is going to prison'.

The detectives along with an Assistant District Attorney took the case to a grand jury (at least in Tennessee any felony charges have to pass a grand jury to ensure there is enough evidence to warrant a trial). The grand jury indicted one Rajiv Gomer residing at the time in the DC area and they issued an arrest warrant. Because he lived in another state and I was aware of a date he was coming back into Tennessee, instead of messing with extradition issues, they waited for that time to arrest him. He was arrested, made no statement to the police and spent about 24 hours in jail before posting approximately 10k in bail.
Then my case was assigned to Boyd Patterson of the Hamilton County DA's office. He is an amazing man, an incredible attorney, and has inspired me and given me great hope in mankind's ability to be good and kind and fair and just (etc).

In some comments I have made on this video I refer to 'settling out of court'. What this simply means is 'agreeing to a plea bargain instead of taking it to a trial'. It is the Hamilton County's policy that victims must approve a plea bargain before they will grant one.
I went back and forth and back and forth about whether to go the plea bargain route, or whether to put myself through a trial.

I had finally decided to take it to trial. We had the confession on tape and witnesses at the scene of the rape who were willing to testify. A date was about to be set for the trial when, what has always felt suspicious to me, the Assistant District Attorney on my case was suddenly promoted outside the district (or something like that) and removed from my case.
It was then the main District Attorney's decision on what to do. They decided that with their case load and not absolutely knowing they could get a guilty verdict from the jury, they dropped charges in a manner in which they could reinstate those charges if further evidence arrises before the statute of limitations runs out. At the time that this was entered into the court record, they stated that they believed facebook.com/rajiv.gomer to be guilty of the crime but felt they lacked enough evidence to be assured of a guilty verdict (I feel this is mostly due to the time I waited to report it, so for those out there, please make a report right away. You can always choose not to go forward with legal proceedings, but at least it gives you the option).
I have copies of all of the public records that I plan to publish when I feel I am ready to do so, including the audio taped confession the police obtained along with me.

He is currently a free man and I can only ask that you take caution. I'm limited in what I can say about him to prevent any 'defamation' suit filed against me, that is why I will simply publish online what is already public record.
I did all I could to prevent this from happening to another girl. In this case, the justice system, in my opinion, simply failed. This should have gone to a trial and a jury should have had the right to decide whether he was guilty, which I am fairly confident (you can never be positive with a jury) they would have.

I do NOT discourage victims from filing reports and I hope my case doesn't discourage you from doing so. However, having gone through this, I understand the saying that the legal proceedings are a 'second rape'. And so I understand those who cannot take any further trauma and choose not to go through the legal process and I also understand those who simply don't trust the legal system. While it's the best we've got, it's very poor.
The exception to that is that I maintain that Boyd Patterson was and is an exceptional criminal prosecutor. He was a counselor before he got his law degree. He helped me navigate the craziness of the process and I trusted him with my life. He was worthy of that.

For now, that is all I have to say. I have waited until the pain diminished and I felt healthy enough and ready enough to talk about this. I won't answer any questions right now, but at some point in the future I will be willing to. Thank you for your understanding.

So I'm looking into doing a sex-ed conference on a cruise sometime after I graduate where I would be inviting all of my viewers to come attend! We would be covering everything from Sex Toys, to private classes for the ladies on how to give the best oral sex EVER, to teaching other Sex Educators how to use social media to reach their target audience(s), to relationship advice, Improving Technique workshops, advanced sexual anatomy lessons, at least two safety seminars (one covering birth control options {pros and cons of each major type} and one covering STD facts, prevention strategies and recent, cutting edge research you need to be aware of.

I'd also be offer one on one sessions for up to 30 minutes for just $10 ($20 if you want an hour, available once a day if you want to have one session every day). We'd have tons of time to just hang out as a group at private get-togethers and impromptu meet-ups at places on the ship, as well as specific excursions at each destination, we could even all try and sit together or in the same general area for meals...

The cruise we're looking at doing would be in the Mediterranean. Here's the description: "Sailing from Rome is a nice seven night cruise on Royal Caribbean Navigator of the seas. The itinerary visits Sicily (Messina), Italy, Athens (Piraeus) Greece, Ephesus (Kusadasi), Turkey and Chania, Crete, Greece."
Rooms start at $700 (that covers two people) and the travel agency I'm working with (it's not a for sure thing, whether this happens is up to you guys and whether you want to do it. I wouldn't be making any profit. I would just be compensated for my travel expenses) can also get you the best prices on airfare if you need it.

What I need to know is if you're interested. I'm not asking for a commitment, but an idea on whether you think you MIGHT go.
Also, if you are a public health worker, since I'll be teaching Social Media classes and how to take your work into that realm, it should be entirely tax deductible. We're also looking into seeing if we can make this qualify as CEUs or CECs for professionals needing them!

PLEASE let me know if you're interested in this. And if you're not, why you aren't... that information could help me make it fit what you're looking for better or address why you can't or won't be able to make it.
If there is enough interest/attendees, we would even be able to run a contest to give away 2-4 rooms. It would probably be a video contest where you'd make a video explaining why you should be the one to get the free cruise (you'd still have to make it to Rome and back home)!!

Let me know!! And pass this along to all of your friends that you think might be interested as well!! There is a good chance it won't only be me, but likely at least one of my colleagues from Youtube (I just haven't run it by her yet so I won't say who), and perhaps two of them! So you might get three of us. There would be about 2-4 seminars a day you can attend... you attend the ones you find interesting! And enjoy the vacation!

I think this could be SO much fun, an incredible learning experience for ALL of us (I know I would learn a TON) and I would LOVE to meet as MANY of you as I can! (For those worried about my safety, don't worry. Security will be provided) And for those of you living in Europe, it's a lot cheaper for you since you wouldn't need to fly across the ocean! :-) And you know I have a special place in my heart for my European viewers. You guys send me the BEST messages and are so kind and encouraging!

Again, I would not be making a profit from this (except if anyone wants the 30 minute private, one on one, session for $10 {that's really cheap!}). That's the only profit I would be making. If somehow I DO make a profit (although I don't see that happening unless a TON of you guys end up really interested, which would be AWESOME), I would donate all proceeds to a charity you guys would get to vote on during the cruise (I'd give you about 5 options and you could vote from them).
I'm wanting to do this solely to learn all I would from the experience, the chance to meet so many of you, to spread sexuality information even more in a very unique way and setting, and to have this once in a lifetime experience!

Let me know... comment here, or on my facebook, tweet me, or message me on youtube to let me know your thoughts!

We're talking anywhere from 9 months to a year out... so plenty of time to save up for the trip! =-)

(PS: You must be over 21 to travel alone on Royal Caribbean. If you are under 21 you must travel with someone over 25 (or maybe it's 26, but I think it's 25). :-)

PPS: And if any of you parents out there are interested in bringing your kids, I'd be willing to throw in one seminar a day that would address the basic sex education that teens need (13 and older only please). I would need at least 12 teens to decide to add this on). And trust me when I say your kids would think you were the coolest parents in the WORLD for having 'The Talk' with them this way!!!)

Just wanted to post something really quickly to start this off and let you know what I've been up to lately...
I'm working on projects that can hopefully be used by MTV's GYT (Get Yourself Tested) campaign, finishing off what I hope will be just the first of many contracts with The National Campaign, and working hard with a team to get a real website up and running for us to finally have a place to hang out together.
I just got done writing a blog for an MTV campaign that is worldwide to prevent and treat HIV/AIDS.

BTW, once we get the site up, everyone who signs up for an account on my site will be entered to win a condom case (to carry with you it protects them). Women who sign up will automatically get two entries (to help get more female involvement. we currently have an 80% male community). I've already ordered them. A few that are REALLY nice and then several that are basic. More on that when it's time... :-)

I have several really educational videos to put out over the next couple weeks. Then I'll finally be putting out a really fun video. Can't be all work and NO play... :-)

Question for the readers: How can one portray getting tested for STDs as 'sexy'? How would you shoot a video making the testing process look sexy? Get as creative and/or outlandish as you want, just get your creative juices flowing.